'Not The Brady Bunch':
The Challenges of Blended Families

Chantal Bourgault du Coudray
Perth Counsellor & Gestalt Psychotherapist

When my daughters and I moved in together with my partner and his boys, lots of people compared us to the Brady Bunch. The iconic American sitcom offered a pioneering insight into blended family life and remains a go-to example of blended families in popular culture.

If only the unique challenges of these families could be resolved as swiftly and tidily as each episode of The Brady Bunch. The sobering reality is that partnerships involving step children fail at a higher rate than other partnerships. Second marriages are twice as likely as first marriages to end in divorce, and the complexities of blended family life help to explain that statistic.

Challenges facing blended families can include:

• Unrealistic expectations that the family will function just like a nuclear family
• Uncertainty about familial roles
• Negotiation of different familial cultures and values
• Questions about parental authority, especially with regards to disciplining children
• Questions about fair distribution of emotional and material resources
• Managing relationships with ex-partners
• Managing relationships with extended family members
• Conflict between children and step-parents
• Conflict between step-siblings
• Divided loyalties
• Conflict about demarcation of territory and rules in the home
• Managing sensitivities related to previous family breakdowns
• Pressure to 'make it work' for children who have already experienced a family breakdown

Although this list of challenges may seem daunting, strategies for managing these difficulties are available. By attending to individuals' quality of relationship with themselves and others, psychotherapeutic counselling offers significant support for navigating the complexities of blended family life.

And despite the challenges, being part of a blended family can be a unique opportunity to develop self-awareness, improved communication, respect for others, and richer relationships. It can even offer outlets for creativity, through the crafting of unique family practices that respond to specific situations and individual needs rather than broad cultural expectations of 'how families should be'.

For these reasons and more, I consider myself fortunate to be part of a blended family, however challenging, infuriating, unpredictable - and noisy! - my homelife can sometimes be. Not least, my experience has fueled my interest in working with individuals who find themselves dismayed or confused that their own blended family is not like the Brady Bunch either.

If you would like to talk through any of these issues, please contact Chantal Bourgault du Coudray on:
Email: enquiries@applecrosscounselling.com.au

Applecross Counselling & Psychotherapy
Attadale Business Centre
14b, 550 Canning Hwy
Attadale WA 6153
www.applecrosscounselling.com.au

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