Dilemmas of the modern woman

Victoria Kerr (formerly Morrissey)
Perth Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Women of today have so many opportunities, compared to past generations. We have choices and options available to us that have not existed in the past. We are empowered to decide to marry or not marry, to have children or not, to have one child or ten! We can choose careers that include construction, medicine, science, law, engineering - professions that were in the past, seen as professions for men! 

With all of the choices that our ancestors have fought hard to make possible for future generations of women, come dilemmas! Women have historically worn many hats and taken responsibility for the running of the home and domestic duties, the nurturing of children, husbands, parents, extended family and friends.

Today many women continue to wear these hats. They take on the emotional load of a family as well as feel responsible for the logistical nightmares often involved in demonstrating care. The traditional responsibilities of old are layered upon, with a weight of expectations (from self and others) which may involve attempting to give one hundred percent to education, forging a career, investing in their intimate relationship, motherhood, being a good daughter, sister, friend and a myriad of other relationships in their life... Here in lies "the dilemma!"

There is only one of us and we cannot give more than what we have, yet we try. For many, when we don't succeed in balancing education, ambition, career, family, lifestyle, and giving adequate time to all of the important people in our lives we can feel guilt, despair, inadequacy, dissatisfaction, anxiety, depression, and believe we have failed. Self-esteem, confidence and identity can be severely impacted. Many women expect the impossible from themselves and live in a constant state for feeling torn and running on empty. Many women don't give enough consideration to looking after their own needs. Often, we feel shame if we put our own needs before the needs of others.

To add to all of the above, many modern women also feel the pressure of looking a certain way (i.e. fit, healthy, attractive) in order to be valued. Social media plays a big part in women comparing themselves with others, whilst rarely seeing the full picture behind what is posted. The hamster wheel can become exhausting. It can remove joy from life and the creation of distorted stories about ourselves and our lives can result in many women feeling as though they are just existing. They may question why on paper they have all the things that 'should' make them happy, yet happiness alludes them. It can be a confusing place to be in. In our despair, it can leave us questioning if 'having it all' as a modern woman, is a fallacy that we've been brainwashed into thinking is possible or.... a reality that hasn't yet been achieved because we aren't working hard enough or efficiently enough. Beginning to question what "having it all" actually means, could be a useful starting point that may allow a shift to occur in our lives.

If you would like to explore the pressures that impact you and your life, contact Victoria.

Phone: 0438 983 590
Email: v.kerr@bigpond.com (or enquiries@applecrosscounselling.com.au)

Applecross Counselling & Psychotherapy
Attadale Business Centre
14b, 550 Canning Hwy
Attadale WA 6153
www.applecrosscounselling.com.au

Click here to go to Victoria Kerr's page

Click here to go back to the home page