CROSSDRESSING

Victoria Kerr (formerly Morrissey)
Perth Counsellor & Psychotherapist

Cross-dressers are typically heterosexual men who wear women's clothing. There is no correlation between crossdressing and transgenderism or homosexuality. A Transgender person lives fulltime in the gender that they identify with whereas Cross-dressers (in this article, I am only referring to men who cross-dress) choose to dress as women only some of the time and enjoy experiencing both the masculine and feminine parts of themselves.

The difference between cross-dresser's and transvestites is that crossdressing is not done with sexual arousal being the intent. For those men who associate cross dressing with sexual arousal, the term used to describe this behaviour is 'Transvestic Fetishism'.

In western society men are often raised with messages that they should be firmly anchored to their gender. There is a history of it being much more socially acceptable for girls to be 'Tom Boy's and possess masculine traits and behaviours than it is for boys to express traits and behaviour that are associated with being feminine. For boys and men, they can grow up in an environment in which they experience a rigid expectation of masculinity and it's possible that they feel any deviation from this can open them up to experiencing discrimination, rejection and shame.

Crossdressing has been used for purposes such as disguise, comfort and entertainment in modern times and throughout history. Drag is a form of crossdressing which is used commonly as a comedic form of entertainment where the female identity is exaggerated and the Drag Queen sometimes takes on the glamourous form of a famous female character or pop star. Drag Queens are usually homosexual men and no sexual arousal is experienced from adopting the Drag Queen persona.

Many cross-dressers indulge in dressing as a woman in private and create a highly secretive world for themselves out of fear of being rejected and humiliated. For some, there is shame associated with their secret. Some men choose to engage subtly in public while wearing female clothing or underwear that is not obvious or apparent. This can bring them great comfort and increase confidence when out in public and interacting in the world. Others experiment with trying to genuinely pass as a female and put a great deal of effort into fine tuning their body language and voice etc. There are also those who choose an overstated and obvious look, using cross dressing as a form of self-expression, they enjoy the shock experienced by others and the attention they receive.

It can be a freeing experience for men to embrace both the masculine and female sides of themselves. Both the feminine and masculine side don't always need to be exaggerated and kept so separate. Enjoying ourselves fully without judging ourselves can be liberating and empowering.

TRANSVESTIC FETISHISM

As mentioned above, the main difference in being a cross-dresser and a transvestite is that the latter is related to sexual arousal. Generally, transvestites are heterosexual men who are aroused by dressing in women's clothing while experiencing sexual fantasies which surround the experience of being a woman (temporarily).

Most men who fall into this category will have experienced dressing in female clothing as a child. They might have memories of slipping on one of mum's dresses or their sisters bikini. Prior to puberty, they would have experienced feelings of happiness and excitement when dressing in typically female clothing, there would be an associated feeling of comfort or self-soothing. Once puberty sets in, their experience changes to one of sexual excitement. They would experience an erection and possibly their first ejaculation while crossdressing.

Older transvestites frequently describe feelings of relaxation, comfort or wellbeing when they cross-dress. If opportunities to cross dress do not present themselves often enough, this can affect their mood and increase feelings of tension and irritability.

Most transvestites fall in love with women and go on to marry and have children. During this stage of their life, the desire to cross dress may wain and sometimes completely cease however in time, it may return.

Those who are able to accept the pleasure that their cross dressing brings and embrace and enjoy their feminine side are often better able to live without feelings of guilt, shame and fear, however this is not possible for all crossdressers or transvestites for various reasons, one of those being the uncomfortable and/or negative reaction of their partners. A crossdressing partner can be threatening and confronting for many. For many men, cycles are established throughout their life, of building up a wardrobe, accessories, sexual toys and pornography to completely purge themselves or any item that is associated with this side of themselves. In time, they may find that the desire grows again, and the cycle of re-stocking will begin until the next time they decide that the lifestyle brings them or their partner too much distress.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE MORE INFORMATION OR TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS TOPIC, PLEASE CALL VICTORIA

Phone: 0438 983 590
Email: v.kerr@bigpond.com

Victoria Kerr (formerly Morrissey)
Psychotherapist and Counsellor

Applecross Counselling & Psychotherapy
Attadale Business Centre
14b, 550 Canning Hwy
Attadale WA 6153
www.applecrosscounselling.com.au

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